Encouraging Growth by Encouraging Conversations

Recently we culminated that yearly tradition that is parent/teacher conferences.  I've always loved these conferences, as our conversations with parents are a great time to share the praise that can be found in every student, and the opportunities we each have to grow.  This year, however, I heard, more than ever before, from multiple parents about the conversations that they were having at home, conversations that originated in our croom and were now making their way to dinner tables, car rides, and evening chill time.  To me this is one of the truest signs of learning and is part of the solution to a national problem- our increasing inability to engage in productive conversations about our history and the issues facing the nation right now.  And it has me thinking about how to increase the frequency of these conversations.

The conversational divide in our country is one that even the blindest among us can see.  Of the many problems plaguing our country, this one stands out as both a root cause and a solution.  It's ironic to a degree, with so many talking about "what this country was founded on", that one of the truest, most base founding principles is the one perhaps most lacking right now.  This country was, in so many ways, founded on the conversation.  Few of our Founders and Framers agreed on everything, if anything, and yet this country came to be.  Imperfect for sure, but one capable of growth, an "experiment" that most would argue has gone demonstrably well.  Why- because our Founders talked, certainly with those who agreed with them, but more importantly, with those who didn't.  That is how compromise is made.  That is how understanding is reached.  That is how growth happens.  Today we have evolved into a country in which the popular maxim is "Don't talk about politics at Thanksgiving" or something of the like.  That maxim has to go; we need, so desperately, to talk more, listen more, grow more.  So it warms my heart to hear parents talk about how the discussions we have in class are coming home and continuing.

This brings up, of course, the need for us to model effective discourse.  While I do have a few "absolute truths" which are not debatable in our croom (I will not tolerate comments when it comes to things like racism, sexism, etc.), most topics are worthy of a good back and forth.  But if all we allow is free-for-all debate, we miss the chance to stress the importance of listening.  Debate is not a taboo word, and can be effective when listening is stressed.  I often tell my students that at least half of a great conversation is listening.  I also stress to my students the need to engage in informed discourse.  Imagine a country in which the citizens were willing and able to sit down with anyone, and speak on the issues of a day, a discussion rooted in actual knowledge, and one in which all involved left the conversation with a little more understanding.  Imagine if our crooms were a place where these kinds of discussion were not only allowed, but encouraged, and these conversations carried their way home.  Imagine if we were a nation of citizens content in the conversation, and not focused on being right.  If that is an ideal, call me an idealist.

Even though I know that not every student will leave their time with me and be this kind of citizen, it doesn't stop me from trying.  To that end, a few of our efforts...

• Don't shy away from the tough topics, but change the way they are discussed.  I teach government, and when we discuss the Constitution, the conversation inevitably steers towards the Courts, and how civil liberties and rights have been interpreted over time.  This leads us to discussions of discrimination, same-sex marriage, abortion, etc., all issues which would easily lead to blow-ups.  But if we want our students to emerge as functional citizens, we can't skip over the topic just because we are afraid of the conversation.  Our crooms have to be the laboratories where the American experiment grows, where informed dialogue is encouraged.
• Set rules- establish the "lines" for class discussion across which students are not allowed to cross.  A few of our rules- your voice has value, be prepared to support your point with serious evidence (and no, Grandpa doesn't count), speak with respect and listen with more, do not speak until called on (don't try to speak over others).
• As teachers and discussion facilitators, we have to be prepared to speak from the other side, even if you disagree with it personally.  I know many teachers who share their personal views constantly; there can be some value to that.  But, in general, I keep my thoughts on most issues to myself so that I can argue another side without the students believing me to be biased.  Plus it's fun to see the students try to guess where I stand.
• Challenge students to speak from a point of view contrary to their own.  I also teach US History, and often put students in groups which will likely push them to see another side, eg. Federalist v. Anti-Federalist, or in government I might have the student present on a Constitutional point different than their own.  Having to argue from the other side of the argument can be a great way to encourage students to look at multiple perspectives.

In the end we have to remember that we are not just teaching a body in a desk; we are teaching the next generation of leaders and citizens.  If we don't encourage them to be better than us, to be willing and able to listen, to work with someone who thinks differently, to realize that our world is far from homogenous, then we fail them.  If we don't foster opportunities for these young people to grow, we fail them.  It's time that we become part of the solution.